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Knowing What Sexual Frustration Is 

Please do not call yourself incompetent and unlucky because sex is not always available to you. Don’t think badly of yourself because you don’t feel like looking for a partner even though the sexual tension in you is growing. You are only human.

 

That feeling, frustration, is as familiar to experienced lovers as newcomers to sex games. It can occur in the complete absence of sexual intercourse or the absence of quality sex. If you have been sexually frustrated so far, even though you are sexually active, you are not the only one.

 

However, you should know that when you are horny, you are not frustrated. But when you are horny for so long that your body trembles with dissatisfaction, you know that frustration grows. Let’s list some of the signs that may indicate sexual frustrations in a relationship and as far as an individual is concerned.

 

First of all, this is indicated by the frequent quarrels between couples, as well as if one of them often asks about sex. Some of the other signs are irritability, impatience, and trouble sleeping. When you are sexually frustrated, you see only negative traits in your partner, and you are ready to start an argument at any time.

What Causes Sexual Frustration? 

As you might guess, low libido, lack of a partner, or low-quality sex are some of the most common causes of sexual frustration. But how severe is the lack of a partner as one of the common causes? In short: very. 

 

Although there are many dating apps today, most people do not trust people they meet over the internet. And the suspicions are well-founded. Why would you trust a complete stranger?

 

And what if there is a gap between your partner and you? What if your communication is so weak that you don’t even think of mentioning your intimate relationship? There’s something you want and something you don’t want to happen again, but you stay still. And again, you are left without an orgasm.

 

Libido can also be affected by medical factors, such as anxiety, depression, chronic pain, genital discomfort and hormonal imbalance, stress and some medications, as well as sexual dysfunction disorders.

Effects of Sexual Frustration 

Not only does it create dissatisfaction in the body, physically and mentally, but there are other effects of sexual frustration. It can cause constant resentment and stifle an individual’s relationships with their loved ones. It can create a thick barrier around a person. 

 

Studies show that it can also increase the risk of violence and aggression. If it causes severe depression, the person withdraws and later finds it difficult to lower the wall. We all need to release excess energy, and it is best if we do it by making love or playing rough erotic games.

The satisfaction you give each other in bed is crucial to a successful, healthy relationship. If you want your relationship or marriage to last a long time, then you need to feed each other’s self-confidence and satisfy each other.

 

Still, know that mismatched sex drive is felt by almost every couple once in a lifetime minimum. To facilitate this phase, offer your partner a conversation and listen carefully to their wishes. And then let them listen to your wishes.

 

Agree on a compromise, and be confident and proud of your desires. Otherwise, you might ruin all the effort put into the relationship.

Recovery Tips for Sexual Frustration

How to get rid of sexual tension and how to reduce that tension depends on many factors. For example, if you are having trouble dealing with a long-distance relationship, texting, video calls, and masturbation can help a lot.

 

If you have no partner at all, you need to work on your social life. Turn to social networks and dating apps and hang out with friends at bars. Even one-night stands can be a good idea, but don’t forget to use condoms.

 

In any case, masturbate regularly. Masturbation relieves stress. The experts recommend any other form of self-care that relieves the human body from stress. We suggest classes in dance, music or yoga.

For those of you in a relationship, we suggest trying new things. Introduce sex toys or role-play. Go for a run together. Did you know that couples who exercise together have a much more spicy sex life?

 

Recovering from sexual frustration is not always a one-way ticket. Tension can return several times in a lifetime, even if you have recently resolved it. But you do not deserve to be your life companion, so you work on yourself regularly.

Porn: Does It Help? 

And what if your imagination is not so deep that after masturbating you can’t reach orgasm on your own? What if you run out of ideas for your next romantic night with your partner? And what if you don’t know the techniques, and your first romantic night follows?

 

Don’t worry. You don’t have to rush right away to see a sex therapist. While we’re not saying it’s a bad idea, we would suggest porn movies first. Are you too shy to open a porn site? It’s okay. We have a recommendation — watch erotic movies.

 

Some of the sex-related movies that can help you eliminate sexual frustration are Fifty Shades of Gray, Secretary, A Dangerous Method, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover.

 

Erotic novels are also a good weapon against stress. And when it comes to porn videos, they are the best and fastest method. Today, there are many sites available to you for free where you can find the porn movies you love.

 

You can also find a cam girl who will dance, sing, and perform striptease for you on the other side of the line. There are so many possibilities, and so many ideas, that there is no need to despair if you feel frustrated. Above all, remember that it is completely normal.

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Did you know that meditation can be an easy alternative to masturbation? It turns out that meditating can trigger the same parts of your brain as masturbation, and it can help you be healthier and happier.

Why Do People Masturbate?

Almost everyone masturbates. But have you ever asked yourself why? There are a couple of reasons why someone might be touching themselves. So let’s start at the beginning.

 

One of the primary reasons why people masturbate is to create a sense of well-being. The logic behind it is simple. Whenever you have an orgasm, your brain releases happy chemicals, and you feel better.

 

Another common reason is to improve sleep. Aside from allowing you to get your daily dose of chemicals from the brain, masturbation can act as a stress relief. It burns calories, and it is one of the easiest ways to become relaxed enough to fall asleep. This is one of many reasons why people love doing it before they go to bed.

Some masturbation tips can also help you increase self-esteem and improve body image. Whenever you masturbate, you’re doing yourself a favor. Most importantly, it feels good. As we have mentioned before, it can also be a great way to deal with stress and anxiety, and it is excellent for easing tension and pain.

 

No matter why you masturbate, you should remember that it is a healthy way to make yourself feel good.

An Easy Alternative to Masturbation — Meditation

Did you know that there is an alternative to masturbation? And no, we are not talking about sex. The answer to your problems might be meditation. Masturbation and meditation have similar goals, and they can trigger the same parts of the brain.

 

Of course, you are probably well aware that having regular orgasms can lower the chances of developing prostate cancer for men and reduce stress. But let’s talk about the similarities with meditation.

 

Here, we will go through all the things these two activities have in common, as well as all the reasons why you might want to choose one over the other.

Meditation and Masturbation Both Help With Stress Release

There were probably many instances when you decided to masturbate after a stressful day. It is perfectly fine to do that. But meditation can have almost identical effects on your brain and body.

 

There have been numerous studies showing the benefits of meditation, and it is an effective way to reduce stress levels and anxiety. It allows you to get your dose of happy chemicals, such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.

Like Masturbation, Meditation Leads to Deeper Sleep

Meditating before bed can help people fall asleep faster and with ease. It is the same reason why so many people masturbate before sleep. Meditation is an effective way to reduce fatigue, relax, and ease serious conditions, such as insomnia or similar.

 

Another thing you might want to consider trying is meditating as soon as you wake up since it will help you start your day in the best possible way.

Meditation Enhances Your Sex Drive

Of course, the main difference lies in the fact that meditation won’t provide you with sexual pleasure. Or will it? Many therapists encourage practicing meditation as a way of increasing and enhancing your libido.

 

Naturally, having a healthy body will allow you to easily reach orgasms and have a better time with your partner. Furthermore, the existence of tantric sex just shows how close these two activities are.

 

A few years ago, scientists conducted some research and found the connection between sexual performance and meditation. It turns out that those who regularly practice yoga or meditation have an enhanced sexual desire.

You Don’t Need Privacy to Meditate

The best thing about meditation is that you don’t need privacy to do it. You won’t need to lock yourself in the bathroom for a quick meditation, and you won’t be ashamed if someone barges into your room while you are meditating.

 

While masturbating with your partner doesn’t require complete privacy, it is still something you would like to keep to yourself. It is quite challenging for people with roommates.

 

If you start practicing meditation, you won’t need to worry about anything. It will be one less thing on your mind, and you will feel a lot better as soon as you start meditating. There is a reason why meditation is such an important thing in so many cultures. That’s because it works. It is an effective way to deal with everyday problems and start living a healthier life.

 

Of course, masturbation is still important, and you shouldn’t abandon it completelya unless you feel like it. Otherwise, there is enough space in your life for both.

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In the case of sexual treatment, sometimes the solidity of their sexuality really surprised you. For example, they will not masturbate when they are young, you teach them masturbation, and emphasize that this is the basis of sexual treatment. They think that it will not be effective, and it will be done or not, so slow or no effect is inevitable. You have to change to a sexy training style, let them experience sexual pleasure and orgasm, but still masturbation has no effect, the psychological resistance to masturbation is an obvious negative effect. Passive vaginal dumbbells and external perinea shock massagers to train their pelvic floor muscles, as long as they persist, can still induce sexual pleasure and orgasm, and can prove to them that passive instrument massage without heterosexual participation can be effective, masturbation or Question? The training on jade egg skills is sometimes more important than the use of jade eggs or vaginal dumbbells. It is now attached to recent interviews. Let us delve on to the Yoni egg history now.

Jade egg skills, European and American middle-aged women may wish to practice more

Not long ago, the well-known sexologist Doctors mentioned in blogs that a lost Chinese-language female-in-law. In fact, for maternal and middle-aged women, using the modern version of the jade egg skill – vaginal dumbbells to train the pelvic floor muscles, is very helpful for sexual well-being.

European and American women chasing jade egg

 

Jade Egg Gong is actually an ancient Taoist Qigong practice method used in the ancient Chinese courts to empress the queen and the harem, to add sexual vitality, sexual energy and health. The principle is to put a jade egg into the female. Vagina, to exercise the pelvic floor muscles, thereby improving the contraction ability of the pelvic floor muscles, making the vagina full of grip, enhancing sexual pleasure and orgasm, and even maintaining the vitality of the ovaries, playing a very effective anti-aging Function.

Modern version of jade egg work – vaginal dumbbells are more scientific

Jade Egg has already withdrawn from the historical stage. However, now there is a more scientific and reasonable exercise equipment, that is, vaginal dumbbells. Liu Yun, an associate professor of sexual treatment clinics at the Second Affiliated Hospital of Chongqing Medical University, told reporters that compared with jade eggs, the vagina the dumbbell design is more scientific and the training is more reasonable.

Vaginal dumbbells are also called shrinking dumbbells. The shape is similar to that of fitness dumbbells. It is made of high-grade medical non-toxic silicone material. The two ends are two small balls connected by a slender ligament. Has been developed into weight-increasing, shape-changing, hollow free ball, individualized different stages of design). When training, the vaginal dumbbells are put into the vagina after general disinfection, 2-3 times a day for 30 minutes, Step-by-step training. It should be noted that you can’t sit after putting a vaginal dumbbell, you need to move more, and through the vibration of the dumbbell, repeatedly stimulate the contraction of the pelvic floor muscle group, thus enhancing the muscle strength.”

For more info, visit yonieggs.

Sexual welfare assistant for women and middle-aged women

The most suitable group for vaginal dumbbell training is maternal and middle-aged women.” Associate Professor Liu Yun said that during the maternal production process, the pelvic floor muscle group may be damaged or vaginal relaxation, while the pelvic floor muscle group of middle-aged women gradually began to relax. The ability to grip the vagina decreases when sex occurs. Adherence to vaginal dumbbell training is good for both types of women to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. After the maternal puerperium, you can start vaginal dumbbell training.

 

In general, a set of vaginal dumbbells generally has at least three. At the beginning of training, the size and weight can be selected according to the degree of vaginal relaxation. You can use the largest and lightest volume first, and then gradually transition to the smallest and heaviest. Practice to feel that there is no burden, you can easily clamp it, and you can, and further can be used for active contraction training of the pelvic floor muscle.

The reporter learned that in Taboo and many sex shops, vaginal dumbbells are hot products, but you should pay attention to whether there is a production license when buying, so as not to buy fake products.

In fact, vaginal dumbbells are one of the training programs in the gynecology or sexual treatment clinics of large hospitals in the city. Associate Professor Liu Yun suggested that if you can’t master the training method of vaginal dumbbells, you can consult a specialist to develop a personalized training plan.

Lost in the Chinese house in the house, Yu egging was recently hailed by European and American women, it is said that practicing this can make marriage life more “sexual blessings”. So what is the role of jade egg work? How to use jade eggs? Let’s learn together~

What is the role of jade egg work?

Sex is the driving force behind all human thoughts and behaviors. People’s life is dominated by the deepest and most primitive sexual desires!

Sex is the birth of human beings. Ancient people have already mastered certain skills on how to improve the quality of their sexual intercourse. And the room surgery is not only male practice, but women also have their own function in a suite. Let’s take a look at how ancient people practiced the house.

The jade egg skill is a classic practice of training prostitutes in ancient times. Some women in modern night show performances are proficient in this technique. We have used this method for other purposes. It is to positively improve the physiological function of women, prevent the decline of sexual function, and promote the harmony of sexual life. Not long ago, the well-known sexologist Dr. Chen Jainmentioned in his blog that a lost Chinese-language female-in-law. In fact, for maternal and middle-aged women, using the modern version of the jade egg skill – vaginal dumbbells to train the pelvic floor muscles, is very helpful for sexual well-being.

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A latex allergy has as causes certain substances (so-called allergens) in natural latex (or natural rubber) or latex products that trigger a hypersensitivity reaction. Depending on which allergens it is possible to distinguish two different allergic reactions:

• For the allergic reaction of the immediate type (typeI) are proteins of the natural latex responsible, which cause the formation of specific IgE antibodies. These proteins are mostly residues from industrial production.
• The allergic reaction of late type (Type IV) is formed by additives added to the rubber milk in the latex production. These materials include vulcanization accelerators, antioxidants,vulcanizes, dyes and anti- aging agents. These allergens do not produce recognizable allergy symptoms after more than 12 hours – mediated by T lymphocytes.

Natural latex is included because of its material properties in numerous consumer and medical commodities. Repeated contact with them leads to sensitization – and thus to the latex allergy: When the body is exposed to the actually harmless allergens, the immune system reacts as if it were foreign substances to be defended (e.g. pathogens). The result: It forms a so-called misguided immune response, so that the body reacts hypersensitive at the next contact with latex. The intake of allergens via the respiratory air is considered to be particularly risky – for example, over today forbidden powdered gloves, which is why the latex allergy is particularly common among medical personnel. But you will have to know What causes latex allergy.

 

In addition, certain risk factors may favor the development of a latex allergy. On the one hand, congenital malformations of the skull, spine or spinal cord are particularly susceptible to latex allergy: Up to 70 percent of people with spine bifida are allergic to latex. On the other hand, malformations in the urogenital area increase the risk of a latex allergy – which probably has its causes in the fact that those affected more frequently (latex-containing) bladder catheters are used. Those who generally tend to develop intolerance reactions to environmental substances (e.g.eczema) also have a higher risk of developing an allergy to latex.

Latex products in everyday life are usually not sufficiently declared and can cause uncontrolled allergic reactions in an existing latex allergy. Products that can be latex include, for example, mattresses, condoms , peccaries, balloons, pacifiers , erasers, chewing gums, car tires, stamp and envelope adhesives, rubber bands (e.g. in underwear), sneakers, stretch clothing and household gloves.

Anyone who has a latex allergy (due to a so-called cross-allergy)is also often allergic to kiwi, banana, mango, avocado, sweet chestnut, pineapple, date, fig and peach. In addition, certain latex allergic-type plants may cause allergic reactions, for example, focusBenjamin and other gum trees, thorn, hemp, periwinkle, coral spurge, mulberry, oleander and poinsettia. In extreme cases even foods handled with latex gloves can cause allergic symptoms if there is a latex allergy.

A major risk for latex allergy sufferers are also medical interventions such as surgery, dentistry and gynecological examinations, if the doctor wears conventional latex gloves and / or other latex-containing medical supplies: The allergen then enters without a protective layer of skin through direct contact with blood and mucous membranes the organism. In a latex allergy, this can cause severe allergic reactions – even anaphylactic shock is possible.

Visit Laidtex for more details

Treatment

Natural latex allergy can best be treated by avoiding exposure. This can be done in different ways:

Through skin contact

By mucosal contact, e.g. in the genital area or in the intestine

Inhalation

Since latex is part of about 40000 commodities, this is of course not fully possible or means a great loss of quality of life. Those who do not have a strong allergy can reduce contact by lowering protein levels. Latex-containing laundry should be washed and ironed before first use; Items should be soaked in detergent solution for a long time. It is not enough to simply wash the objects with detergent!

However, as exposure causes sensitization, avoidance of exposure should be as consistent as possible. Particular difficulties arise in this context in the professional field; in some cases, the previous occupation can no longer be exercised or only to a very limited extent. Recognition of an occupational disease / occupational disability by the professional associations is very difficult.

One hope in this case would be immunotherapy. This is already under development and will be clinically tested. It is not yet on the market.

 

For acute cases, there are drugs. Again, the bandwidth is large. From over-the-counter tablets, nasal sprays and eye drops to complete emergency kits. Such an emergency kit should always have a highly sensitized allergic person! It can prevent anaphylactic shock. The doctor should still be visited in this case. It is important to know the use of the medication and, if possible, to tell other people about the allergy and the location of the kit. This is especially true for children! The set is prescribed by the family doctor or allergist and consists of:

Adrenaline as a metered dose inhaler

Antihistamines as drops

Cortisone as a drop

It is also recommended that you have an emergency strap, emergency bag, or SOS capsule, as well as latex-free gloves in the first aid kit.

The greatest danger for a natural latex allergy sufferers are medical interventions, especially in an emergency. It can – depending on the severity of the allergy – to inflammation, healing delays, and even death. For this reason, during planned interventions or examinations, the allergy should always be pointed out and any alternatives should be discussed. Care must be taken during surgery to ensure that all medical devices do not contain latex, in particular respiratory masks, catheters and infusion sets. In examinations, for example, the gynecologist or dentist should be made every time an indication of allergy, since doctors are only human and often the first handle automatically goes to the latex gloves…

Trigger

First cases of natural latex allergy were described in 1929. Since then, the numbers of allergy sufferers have increased significantly, especially in the last 10-15 years. Already in the early eighties, an increase of cases has been observed. This is due to the increased use of (powdered) gloves to protect against AIDS. However, only an estimated 1% of all serious cases associated with natural latex allergy are recognized as such, but interpreted as an “unexplained anesthetic incident”.

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After the success of the 50 Nuances de Gray trilogy and before the long awaited release of her film adaptation on February 14, 2015, the author EL James releases a range of sex toys and naughty accessories. The idea assumed: live and relive the hottest scenes between Christian Gray and Anastasia Steele.

Fifty Shades of Gray has contributed to the evolution of our intimate behavior. Still according to the IFOP study, the book has blurred the differences in sex and consumption: a few years ago the man went naturally to porn and the woman to the romantic novel.

The strength of Fifty Shades of Gray is to have met both of these criteria. SM practices on passionate love story background today make fantasize women.And if with these sextoys “Fifty Shades of Gray”, we replayed the scenes of the book?

The toy collection “Fifty Shades of Gray” offers a wide range of sex toys, Geisha balls, ties to practice bondage to classic lubricants, massage oils and stimulating gel, get one now at lovegasm. Some of these products are accompanied by the passage of Fifty Shades of Gray correspondent to recreate with his partner the exact scene lived between the two heroes.

Beginners in sadomasochism can be tempted by the anti-spanking cream, approved by Anastasia Steele:

• “Great the color of your ass,” he agrees, massaging tenderly, the refreshing lotion on my red buttocks.
• The more cautious will pick in the range of softer products like the Massage Me Massage Candle:
• Christian lifts me, brings me to bed and puts me on the sheets of fresh satin. After a while, her gently oiled hands gently rub the back of my thighs, knees, calves and back to my shoulders

And of course, we find the silver tie, which is the cover of the first volume of the most famous “mommy porn”.

With the release of the film “50 Nuances of Gray” which has been cleverly awaited, here is a great opportunity to review this phenomenal success based on violent love and wild sex! As we have already unveiled, the consequences of this book continue to be felt in couples and it is undeniable that this naughty trilogy still contributes today to unpack the desires of the couple, making possible the realization of fantasies we had hitherto kept for ourselves

Sex Toys from 50 shades of Gray

So, to help you practice some of your secret desires, let’s take a tour of the pleasures of EL James’ trilogy and see how to take advantage of the Sex toys used in fifty shades darker.To get into bondage

Fabric handcuffs

To attach gently thanks to the delicacy of the fabric and let yourself go to the expert hands of your partner. The excitement is due to power for the one who attaches, to the fever of the unknown and the abandonment for the attaché. Here is a good way to learn the pleasures of bondage for beginners.

Metal handcuffs

A higher level in attachment, the cold and hard aspect of the metal brings a notion of punishment more explicit. They also have the advantage of realism for a variety of spicy scenarios.

Wrist and ankle fasteners

Another step up in bondage, this attachment system that immobilizes the legs and arms at the same time will interest especially the followers of the games during which the submission is total.

The blindfold

The pleasure lies here in the surprise effect of the caresses lavished on the wearer of the mask, and on the master of the game on the power he holds. Never knowing which part of the body will be caressed prevents anticipation and promises spontaneous pleasure.

The feather duster

For sensual caresses, the ideal accessory to electrify the skin and awaken all the erogenous zones of your body. For the most sensitive, it can turn into an instrument of soft torture by touching and titillating the most ticklish areas

The whip

Accessory to use with caution, the whip allows games of submissions based on the pain (within the reasonable limit). For the whipped, it is the pleasure of the pain in itself, mixed with that of the relief when the pain stops. For the partner who holds the whip, it is the obvious position of domination and power that excites.

A true object of punishment, it is used most often for the ruler to reprimand the subject. The whip belongs to a higher level in the SM and is quite painful so better start with a soft leather whip if you are a beginner!

The fag

Another instrument of reprimand, the swatter is more particularly specialized in flogging of the posterior.

The vibrators of Anastasia and Christian

The classic vibrator

The one who completely embraces the feminine curves and who is dedicated to the full and deep pleasures of Madame. To savor with closed eyes, with or without a partner.

The pocket vibrator

Faithful companion to carry everywhere with him by sliding it discreetly in his purse, he is devoted mainly to the clitoral pleasures and has the advantage of not having the “classic” appearance of a sex-toy and to be able to be accidentally shown in public without embarrassment.

The G spot vibrator

Masseur with targeted ecstasies, often curved or with a flattened base , he strives to awaken this small area of ??pleasure located a few inches from the entrance of the female sex and source of exceptional beatitudes.

The vibrating ring

While waiting for the marriage between Christian and Anastasia, the ring that unites them has at least the advantage of vibrating! Worn by the man during the reports, it offers the two partners the pleasure of the vibrations where it is necessary and it also allows Monsieur to stay in the party longer!

The anal plug

For men or women, it allows you to explore different pleasures, whether through prostate stimulation for Him or a simple anal excitement for Her . And if you want to relive the adventures of Anastasia and Christian with the same spirit of financial prosperity, you can even let yourself be tempted by this model of luxury!

The anal rosary

Rod on which are fixed pearls, this accessory allows to discover the anal pleasures gradually thanks to the growing sizes of pearls. It is also a very old object of pleasure.

The transparent dildo

Plastic or glass, for the pleasure of the eyes above all.

The Balls of Geisha

Third main character of “50 Nuances”, Geisha Balls is a good provider of pleasure for the couple. Only accessory that can be worn while engaging in daily activities, it can enjoy at any time small vibrations created by the balls they contain. Worn in public places to jostle pleasantly his sex life or during foreplay, pleasures are multiple and meet your desires of the moment.

Rewrite the story

With these accessories in the arsenal of our two lovebirds, you have a good base to remake the film in your own way, taking you for Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan on the trail of your own desires and desires! From the attractions of bondage to the delights of vibrators and temptations of the SM soft, there is everything you need for ecstasy without nuance!

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What makes a woman wanted by men?

Women know what they want — they just don’t know always how to tell us, men. As a rule, one thing women don’t want is this guy: Jack McJerkface. While irresistible women will likely still attract the McJerks, she’ll also attract Mr. Perfects.

There’s a lot of conflicting dating, oral sex tips, and pickup advice out there: play hard to get, don’t play hard to get, be yourself, be a sports fan, be sexy but still down to earth, effective sexual submission… the list goes on. But here are seven traits any straight man undoubtedly finds irresistible. So do one or all of these valuable insights to get our attention, and then keep us calling you for a date after date.

1. You have a shining sense of humor.

One of the easiest (and surprisingly least-practiced) methods of convincing us we made the right choice in talking to you is sharing your fantasy of standing sex, or when you respond to our jokes instead of simply laughing at them. If you’re hee-hawing at our wisecracks, wonderful — just make sure you don’t leave a dead silence at the end of each one or we’re going to think you’re expecting a stand-up routine. We want a woman who can do a bold move by becoming our conversation partner, not just an adoring fan.

2. You don’t immediately fall in love.

As the law of supply and demand goes, we want to crave your attention before we get it. Once we have it, though, it’s nice to be reminded that you only have eyes for us.

3. You don’t overly obsess about your wardrobe.

If you spend most of your time and energy on clothes and shoes, we may suspect you’re a bit superficial. Can we not sit around in our underwear once in a while if we’re feeling depressed? We like a woman who minds her appearance but who also knows that being attractive is more about confidence than owning Manolo Blahniks.

4. You’re healthy, but not a health nut.

Obviously, men dig a woman with a kickin’ body, but not if it means she spends more time in the gym than she does with us. Likewise, we’ll forgive you for eating a salad on a first date but not every date for the rest of our lives. Remember: men like curves, and women who can bench-press us are somewhat frightening.

5. You’re extremely down to earth.

The type of attention a drama queen demands from men isn’t the sort of genuine, will-love-you-forever attention women deserve. We like a woman who forgives the occasional stupid move. If we say the wrong thing in a casual conversation and it wasn’t racist or an otherwise idiotic remark, she remembers that, as humans, we’re going to disagree with at least 25 percent of everything anybody says. And so, she lets it go.

6. You don’t feel the need to stalk on social media.

Where do you want this relationship to go? If you answer, “I’m not sure” or anything other than “to the friend zone with you!” then you shouldn’t be friending us on Facebook until it’s established that we’re more than chummy. I recently had to unfriend two women I dated because they friended me before we ever went out and it didn’t work out with either. Don’t make us the bad guys.

7. You have the decency to return phone calls.

I know it seems like calling a woman is no big deal because we’re grown men, but every time we dial a number for the first time, we’re terrified that one of the following things will happen: you won’t remember us, or we have to think of something witty to say on your voicemail. Unless we were total jerks to you (in which case you shouldn’t have given us your real number), call us back ASAP.

8. You’re passionate, but not a zealot.

It’s inspirational when anyone is really into something. Whether it’s a cause, a hobby or a job, seeing what gets a lady fired-up makes her more attractive (unless it’s dog fighting). But zeal does have its limits. Fifty hours of work per week plus another fifty hours of decoupage doesn’t leave much time for dating or finding new passions as a couple.

9. You have friends.

While approaching a gaggle of gals is a little intimidating, dating the lone she-wolf is even scarier. It’s nice to know that we can spend some guy time or alone time and not have someone lonely, disappointed and thinking of revenge for this slight. Plus, maybe one of your friends will like one of our friends, and who doesn’t like people helping people?

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You don’t have to win the lottery in the gene pool or describe your porn fetish to be sexy. We may not be able to decide the cards that are dealt with us, but we can decide how we play our hand.

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Have you ever wondered what it is that men want in a woman?

Sure, there are a lot of shallow guys out there who are only interested in a woman’s looks, in a certain body type or set of features, or those who enjoy having fun with a dildo. But that’s not who I’m talking about.

You wouldn’t want to date those guys anyway, let alone settle down with them.

No, I’m talking about mature men, who have done enough growing up to realize that life isn’t all about appearances. Men who understand that a woman can’t be reduced to just her anatomy and see her as a form of sex – it’s the depth and richness of her personality that makes her who she is.

After all, isn’t that the kind of man you want to be with? To build a life, home, and family with? Just keep up exercising your fantasies.

A grown man looks beneath the surface, someone who is being honest when dating, seeking out those soulful qualities that give a woman that hard-to-define, but all-important “it factor.” Ifyou’re on a journey to finding sperm donors, you have the right mindset. Qualities that are way more important than looks when it comes to being a good partner and lover.

Like these 12 things!

1. Kindness

This is a biggie. Is she kind? Because if she’s not, it ain’t gonna work. The trouble is that everyone is nice to you – in the beginning. In the first blush of romance, when everything is new and fun and easy, everyone puts their best foot forward.

So I’ve learned to pay attention to how she treats people other than me. Is she polite to the waiter at the restaurant? Does she bad mouth her exes, her coworkers, her friends and family? How does she treat strangers, or pets? You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat others. Warmth, kindness, and generosity are incredibly attractive, and absolutely necessary to a healthy, long term relationship.

2. Intelligence

There is something so sexy about a woman who is witty, educated, thoughtful, who can hold her own in any conversation. And I don’t necessarily mean “book smarts,” or academic knowledge. I’m more interested in wisdom, street smarts, sense of humor, emotional intelligence. A woman who likes to ponder life’s deep questions, who will sit with me under the stars and talk all night about the mysteries of the universe.

3. Open Mindedness

Nobody likes to be told that they’re wrong. Whether male or female, as writer Annika Martins mentions, nobody wants to be “fixed.” It’s a big turn off. Grown men aren’t looking for someone who has all the answers, who has everything all figured out.

They want a woman who’s playful, curious and open-minded, who doesn’t judge or condemn. She’s not set in her ways; she’s open to other perspectives. She loves to travel and see new places; to meet new people, have new experiences, learn from other cultures and broaden her horizons.

She treats life as an adventure, and she wants to explore as much of it as she possibly can. That open and adventurous attitude makes her exciting and fun to be with. It’s a definite turn on.

4. Knows Herself

Just because she’s open-minded doesn’t make her naive. She’s not lost or confused; she’s in touch with her intuition, her inner compass. She knows what she stands for, what she likes and what she doesn’t. She isn’t trying to be anyone else. She doesn’t live her life based on the opinion of her friends, her mother, or some fashion magazine. She doesn’t need to go “find herself.” She’s had enough life experience to know who she is, and what she wants – and that is sooo sexy.

5. Expresses Herself

Psychologists such as Abraham Maslow and Manfred Max-Neef have identified self-expression as a fundamental human need. Well, not only is it important to our happiness and sanity – it’s also extremely attractive.

I admire a woman who shares her thoughts and feelings, who says what’s on her mind. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a big talker; she might be quite shy, quiet and introverted. But she finds healthy ways to express herself.

She might communicate through body language, through painting, cooking, or poetry. Or maybe when she’s out on the dance floor, through rhythm and movement. But whatever her method or medium, when she’s in it she comes alive, and her inner world comes pouring out for all the world to see.

And it’s beautiful.

6. Down To Earth

I can appreciate ambition. I get the importance of dreaming big. But at the end of the day, I want a woman who savors the little things. A woman who knows what’s really important in life – family, friendship, love and connection.

She’s honest and practical; she has no patience for pretense. She’s humble and grounded, and doesn’t waist her time and energy chasing after symbols of wealth or status. She’s just as happy eating s’mores around a campfire as she is going out to a five star restaurant. She is centered and present and easy to be around. That’s the kind of woman a man wants to settle down with.

7. Confident

Wait just a minute… humble and confident?! Do I contradict myself? Very well, then. Human beings are complicated creatures. But there is a balance that can be struck here. You can be confident without being egotistic. You can value yourself without belittling others.

Real confidence comes from knowing yourself deep down, and accepting who you are. Knowing that you are good enough, just as you are. You don’t need to change or fix anything, for anybody. A woman can, and should, know her own worth, and be confident in who she is and what she has to offer. It’s incredibly sexy.

8. Comfortable In Her Own Skin

Maybe you think that this is the same as confidence. Like, “you’ve covered this already, it’s redundant.” I disagree. I think that body image issues are so common that it deserves special attention. I know so many women who do not, will not, cannot see themselves as beautiful. Instead they look at themselves and see only their “flaws,” and in a highly exaggerated and magnified way (as illustrated by this viral video from Dove’s Real Beauty campaign).

I’m not going to lie and say that looks don’t matter. Of course they do, to both women and men. But I’m here to tell you that how you look is not as important as how you feel about your body.

Real beauty isn’t about your weight or your measurements. It doesn’t come from makeup, or designer clothes. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin, at home in your body. It shows in your smile, in the way you walk, in your every movement and gesture.

9. Creative

I don’t think that anyone is especially attracted to what’s “normal,” or average. We don’t want to be with someone who is just like everyone else. We want an individual, someone who’s different, creative, who stands out from the crowd.

Give me a woman who’s not afraid to do things differently. A free spirit, who thinks for herself, and wants to make her mark upon the world. She might be an artist, a bit of a rebel; but not necessarily. She just has a way of seeing things from a unique perspective, and she lives her life accordingly. There is no one else quite like her – and that’s a good thing.

10. Passionate

Let’s face it: passion is sexy. And I’m not just talking about sexual passion, either. I’m talking about a woman who is passionate about her ideals, her career, her favorite cause, or sport, or political party. A woman who burns with intensity for the things that she cares about. Her eyes light up whenever she talks about it, her whole being becomes electrified. That energy, intensity and dedication is extremely attractive.

Of course, if that passion carries over into the bedroom, that’s a huge plus.

11. Driven

Best-selling author Sarah Ban Breathnach once wrote, “The world needs dreamers, and the world needs doers. But most of all, the world needs dreamers that do.”

There are few things more enticing, more beautiful, and more awe-inspiring than a woman who is genuinely living her dream. A woman who has figured out what it is that she’s passionate about, and dedicated her life to it. She has found her way, her purpose, her path. It gives her a reason to get up in the morning. It gives her a sense of meaning and direction, and a contagious enthusiasm for life.

And it makes her incredibly attractive.

12. Happy

In the end, there is nothing sexier than a woman who is happy with herself, happy with life… just,happy. A woman who laughs often, who radiates joy and gladness, who always brightens your day and makes you smile whenever you see her, or think of her. That’s the kind of person that we all want to be with.

Don’t get me wrong – everyone has their bad days, their moments of doubt and despair. But a woman who accepts and loves herself, who knows what she wants out of life and goes after it, is going to have way more good days than bad. She’s up a lot more than she’s down. She is cheerful, positive and light-hearted, and she just makes you feel good.

And that is the single most attractive quality she, or anyone, can possibly possess.

Now if this list seems impossible to you, you’re absolutely right. No one person is going to possess all these qualities. I know I don’t. And if you do, then you should get some kind of award, or something. The point is not to beat yourself up about the things that don’t describe you. The point is to remind you what real beauty is.

In a culture obsessed with appearance, it’s easy to get caught up in how we look, how we dress or what we weigh, and what other people think. Everywhere we look we are presented with an impossible “ideal” of physical beauty. Even the models who best fit the look are not “perfect enough,” and are plastered with makeup and Photoshopped to the point where they are almost unrecognizable.

But you don’t need to look like a supermodel or a Barbie doll to attract a good man. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else’s idea of beauty. Because what matters the most is not how you appear on the outside; it’s who you are, on the inside.

And a grown man, the kind of man you want and deserve, knows it. He cares more about the content of your character than the size of your waistline. He sees you, all of you, deep down – where your real beauty lies.

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