You don’t have to win the lottery in the gene pool or describe your porn fetish to be sexy. We may not be able to decide the cards that are dealt with us, but we can decide how we play our hand.
The word “sexy” in modern-day society has become synonymous with the matched drum-beats and stiletto steps made famous by Victoria’s Secret advertisements. While that is sexy, it is a very “high level” approach to what the word really means. Meaning, we see it from afar, but don’t get into the details of it.
Many of you may have clicked on this article expecting to see a list consisting of sex alternatives, amazing legs, a great smile, chiseled abs, and a tan… But what society tells you is sexy on the surface is often a small piece of the whole puzzle, enjoying shower sex, if it’s a piece of it at all. The first thing we need to do is get rid of this damaging perception that only women who look like airbrushed magazine advertisements are sexy or a necessary influence in watching porn.
There is so much more to it than that.
So, for those of us who live in the real world, what makes a woman sexy?
Confidence is key. Being “perfect” is not. A strong, purposeful walk, head held high, eye contact, and a wide, welcoming smile go a long way.
Confidence breeds more than just a strong presence or attraction — it’s the foundation for a strong life. Success, whatever that means to you. The ability to go after what you want, which is as sexy as erotic cooking. In other words…
Ambition gives someone a purpose, a drive, a direction in life. Ambition is sexy because it lets a man who has his own goals see his mate as a partner, a teammate, someone he can take on the world with — and that’s how a relationship should be.
Passion for life. Passion for another person. Passion for an interest, a hobby, art, music, anything that drives you. To see a woman in her element and truly loving what she is doing is sexy.
Kindness toward others is a disappointingly rare quality in modern society. Taking a few moments to go out of your way to talk to someone, showing compassion to another member of the human race, regardless of who they are or where they’re from, shows heart, and a level of depth that could never be made up for by a beautiful exterior.
When a woman is genuinely herself and doesn’t change for anyone, it shows many of the above qualities all together. It also shows that she has enough respect for you to be up-front with you and not hide anything.
How long will you stay in a committed relationship with a beautiful or handsome liar? If you cannot trust your partner or believe what they say, how can you construct a solid, lasting foundation with them? You can’t.
I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. Class has nothing to do with the price tag on your outfit. Class is about the dignity you carry yourself with and the level of respect you show to those around you.
It doesn’t matter what kind of car someone is driving, what part of town they live in, or what brand of clothing they’re wearing. If they have an ugly attitude and embarrass others in public, none of it matters.
There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?
When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone on that alone. Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.
There is nothing wrong with putting value on your appearance and that of your partner — we all do it. I know I do. Physical attraction is the fundamental starting point of essentially any relationship. But if that is the only glue bonding the two of you together, your connection will quickly weaken and break apart. The flame may burn strongly — but briefly.
You don’t have to win the lottery in the gene pool to be sexy. We may not be able to decide the cards that are dealt to us, but we can decide how we play our hand.