i’m too tired to get nervous for things anymore. this is what i said to myself the entire week before the filming.
until the camera crew showed up and all at once i felt shy and tongue tied. all of the sudden i didn’t know what to do with my hands. which is maybe why when they asked me questions these good old hands of mine went wild. “whoa there hands! stop seeming so offical!” i kept thinking as i watched the episode today. “no really hands, i’m intimidated by you, you remind me of an over zealous politician…”
amidst my protests, uncle marty, on my right, kindly informed me that my hands behave similarly in all kinds of social situations. something to do with when i know there are eyes on me. huh.well, i guess, when i want to make a serious point, my hands, evidently have my back — or something like that.
anyway, there i was on camera, sitting next to the widely beloved becky earl, my hands were on a rampage, and inside my head, i’m thinking where in the heck is silly/clever yan? the one i usually rely on to get me through things like this? it hits me that i may have lost her somewhere around 2 am the night before, staying up late, finishing up some business related project or another….
i’m rambling now, but what iwant to say that do i wish i would have scheduled a hair appoinment before the filming? yes. do i wish something could have been done about the 15-20lbs of baby weight i’m carrying around 8 whole months after i’ve had the actual baby? affirmative. am i grossing myself out here by being so vain? uh huh. but still, do i wish becky would have reached out her cool collected hands to swat my party animals back down to my lap? -perhaps–
but none of that would have changed the way i feel about what’s important. about keeping my husband and my kids the number one priority in my life. about photographing people simply and honestly. about the importance of prioritizing your life and arranging your business accordingly.
if you don’t know about framed you’re missing out. check them out here.
i shot with a 35 mm camera, not the contax 645. your work is magical!
by yan
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