does yan shoot film?

heidi - Looking forward to seeing more of your film work, I really like your style!

Dan - Fantastic work. Long live film!

Dana Fontaine - Hi Yan – I just saw your image of your “free spirit” being on a roll today.

I thought I would send you an email sharing some of my experience with my daughter as we have found that many of the mainstream parenting practices are only moderately successful. (too much to share on IG, so I hope you don’t mind) We have struggled over the last three years to find a way to help our daughter to rein in her spirit without quelling it; to adapt to various settings where she sometimes will behave inappropriately, unaware that she is acting out; and to be successful in school when her style of learning is different than most of the other kids.

We have by no means found the perfect equation yet, but I have found what does not work and I thought I would share our experience because everyone’s reality of their own “spirited child” is different.

My girl sounds much the same as yours and we have been working hard to find a path that works for us in the last 6 months. She began school for the first time in September (Gr.1, missed Kindergarten due to an international move) and her free spirit is also creating challenges in the classroom (mostly because her learning style does not mesh with the manner in which her teacher offers the lessons).

My daughter is delightful, intelligent, has a fantastic sense of humor, grand imagination, a huge creative streak and a tender heart. She is easily distracted by the world around her and although she has the best of intentions, she often drifts away from the task at hand. She also has a very particular vision on how things should work (only to change her mind in the next 20 minutes or in the next day) and will often dig her feet in and resist something that has worked in past.

The way she processes ideas are different than most. For example, the other day she asked for Rice Krispies for breakfast. She offered specific directions to prepare it. First pour the cereal in a bowl, then fill a spoon partway with sugar, then hold the spoon off to the side so the milk does not hit it as your add it to the bowl (or wait! you could get a second bowl, clean, not dirty and put the sugar spoon in it while you pour the milk) and then add the sugar to the bowl.

When I suggested pouring the cereal first, then the milk, then the sugar, she said yes, that would work too. Her way was the logical way for it to be done. Even with the added steps.

For this reason, neither Love and Logic or 123 Magic were completely successful for us. Although I think they are very sound parenting books for some, for us we needed something that worked with our daughter’s personal logic that does not necessarily follow the mainstream.

I recently picked up a copy of Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries Robert J. MacKenzie Ed.D. (a very positively written book despite the negative sounding title) and I also purchased but have not yet read Raising Your Spirited Child – Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. (but it comes highly recommended as well).

I am really enjoying the first book and am excited about the 2nd (LOTS of great information there – have mostly used as a quick reference for hot button issues for the time being).

I hope these may be of help to you.I love hearing people embrace what makes their kids unique! Lucky you to have a spirited girl- they require extra patience, attention and care, but they are so very worth it.

All the best to you both!

Dana

PS – thank you for sharing so many stunning images on IG. your work is incredible and I love how the love for your subjects is evident in every frame.